


(Get Out as Early as You Can) And Don’t Have Any Kids Yourself

by ShadeofGreen



Series: Fan Fics Written before (or after) Royal's Release [2]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Past Tense, Please Read Author Note, Present Tense, Spoilers, Universe Alteration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-08 08:37:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21232931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadeofGreen/pseuds/ShadeofGreen
Summary: Goro makes his offer of his services to Shido.Shido, being a ‘responsible’ adult, accepts it.





	(Get Out as Early as You Can) And Don’t Have Any Kids Yourself

**Author's Note:**

> With the regular Persona 5 Vanilla Game going to be non-canon to a degree with the arrive of Royal, I figure I'll try to post two Persona 5 fics I delayed for the last several months. The self-editing as such may be even more worse than usual. 
> 
> Please excuse grammar mistakes, spelling mistakes, and ooc-ness. The fic takes elements of the Anime and mixes it up with the Canon Continuity. In regards to the Universe Alteration tag, there are no outside factors via the P1 cast that leads to an alternate universe, and Shido's actions this time around didn't lead to a canon divergence, hence Canon Compliant tag.
> 
> Title is taken from This Be The Verse by Philip Larkin.

Goro makes his offer of his services to Shido.

Shido, being a ‘responsible’ adult, accepts it. Week after week, Shido will give Goro a new assignment. Some are psychotic breakdowns. Some are mental shut-downs. Despite saying otherwise to Loki, Goro enjoys it when he hears the man’s words of praises. <strike>Who wouldn’t want to hear praises from their parent?</strike>

Alongside the usual praises, Goro realizes Shido been treating Goro in a way that’s almost…fatherly. There’s a nonchalant pat on the back for besting the rest of his class in exams. Every so often, when Goro gives out a cough or sneeze, Shido shows a small a concern for Goro’s health. Always asking Goro to take a sick a off, and always Goro goes into denial before being force otherwise.

There are seemingly pleasant surprise gifts given to Goro on his birthday and the holidays. The presents are never labels with a return address, but Goro knows who sent them. All the gifts were things Goro would use in regular life, like ties or gloves. Sometimes Goro got a present for a special occasion, like a gun with a silencer.

* * *

Shido remembered how it started. It was supposed to an off-mark, one shot thing. He just wanted to praise Akechi for besting everyone else in class. The pat on the back wasn’t planned, but it happened. Soon, it spiral out of control. When Shido just wanted to remind Akechi he was sick, the man quickly order the teenager to take days off. When Shido ends up going window shopping, he found himself making a fast purchase of things Akechi would like.

The gun and silencer, however, were planned from the start. After all, what’s the point of having your own personal hitman if he has no proper equipment?

* * *

Shido almost fatherly behavior is finally starting to freak out Goro, and in more in one way.

_“Is Shido-san doing this as a way of saying thank you? Does Shido-san thinks of me as some substitute son he thought he abandon, not knowing the truth? Or…does Shido-san know, and is trying to get me to slip up at a moment of weakness?”_

It sucks balls he can’t figure out jack shit, and it bothers Goro to no end. Almost to his wits end. But despite wanting Shido’s head on a figurative platter to show the world, Goro admits he accepts those pats, those concerns, and the presents. Somewhere, deep inside, there’s a little boy who wants that recognition. In a way, Goro is indulging the poor, neglected, orphan boy, in a what could have been that has been denied so many years ago.

So Goro decides to returns the favor when the opportunity arises, like when the holidays or Shido’s birthday arrives. There’s the typical thing a grown adult man would like, pens, a fancy shot-glass, a pair of cuff links…anything within his budget.

A detective salary —be it police or famous detective— can only afford you so much.

* * *

Both the pens and the fancy shot-glass were used regularly. The cuff links however, were another story. Gold and decorated with a ruby, the man could tell they were the most expensive gift Akechi brought. Shido felt it was appropriate to only wear them on special occasions, like a party where Shido tries to get supports and financers.

Women were always in awe, and men’s eyes shine out of jealously. Once in a while, someone would ask Shido where he brought it, in hopes to buying a pair for themselves or their husband. Shido never answered, wanting them to feel boggle for the rest of their lives.

* * *

One year turns to two. Two years become two years and a half. Soon, it will almost be three years since Goro offered his services to Shido. Goro honestly like what he and Shido have as the moment. The praises and gift bounding never did cross the professional line. Well, more than needed anyway. Goro still isn’t sure what to make of Shido’s behavior.

So, imagine Goro’s surprise when Shido decides to make the bold move of the two going out for lunch. Together. In public. Actually, strike the last two parts all together. They weren’t _together in public_, but they _were_ _together_ in public. Goro and Shido will each be at the same restaurant, seated at different tables across the room from each other.

* * *

The phrase ‘across the room from each other’ here means Shido remembered creating scenarios where Shido arrived first and sit at one end, where the crowds get big enough for him to become another face in the mass.

Akechi meanwhile, would arrived second and be seat near a table near the entrance-exit, on the possibility where one of his fangirls spot him and need to make a fast escape.

Shido can remember getting a few chuckles seeing the young teenager trying to leave the scene with his limbs intact. No doubt Akechi was a looker from both set of genes.

* * *

_“Maybe Shido-san is trying to apologize after all. Maybe he wants us to become a fam-”_

Goro quickly shoves that last thought to the back of his mind. This is Masayoshi Shido we’re talking about here. If anything, the man is still either blind the truth or is deliberately wanting for Goro to crack.

It’s times like these Goro wishes he has someone to speak to about his problem. However, there is honestly no one to talk to. Oh sure, Goro could talk to Sae Niijima. She knows very little of his past, but the woman can quickly deduce something is off. It probably helps she had a sister his age of her own to practice understanding the inner-mind of a teenager.

Truth to be told, other than Niijima, Goro has no real ‘friends’ to turn to advice for.

~~~

Goro quickly takes back his last statement about having no real ‘friends’. That all changed the second Goro met…**him**. Despite the unkempt hair and seemingly lacking decorated details on his school uniform, Goro found the second year student to a very close confidant. It helps the second year students make it a habit listening intensely to other people’s problems.

Of course, it’s a bit too early to unpack all of Goro’s problems in one go.

~~~

It was one evening when Goro finally discusses his dilemma. They had just finish playing a round of chess — with Goro winning of course — and the second year student correctly inferred something is troubling Goro’s mind, as Goro allowed his coffee to become too cold for consumption.

Goro had prepared for this moment for the last few days. He thought it to be wise to paint it as a hypothetical situation in a case he’s working on, one that’s been bothering him for the last few months. Hopefully the second year isn’t too well verse with how undercover police work works.

~~~

“An old man is a suspect in several murders, but there is no link painting the man himself and his victims. Recently, the old man has been seen with a young man — a co-worker —, who the police think is the actual killer. However, in truth, the young co-worker is a undercover cop, planted in the officer to befriend the older gentleman, in hopes the man will confession, or slip some incriminate evidence.”

“However, the investigation itself is already complicated. The older man is in fact, father of the young gentleman. This so call older gentlemen abandoned when the boy when he was a very young child. Why? Well…let’s say the older man was ashamed regarding a few circumstances of the event that lead up the boy’s birth.”

“The young man agreed to the assignment without any fear of conflict of interest. After all, there’s no way the old man will recognize his own son after so many years. Lately though, the older gentleman been acting different. Almost fatherly, as if he recognize his son and is trying to make up for lost time. The young man is now trending a fine line of not breaking the law and breaking it, as an actual conflict of interest now risen.”

~~~

After Goro tells his tale, he feels a small lump grow into his throat. Taking a sip of the cold bitter coffee, he then asks for the much need, long sought out advice

“If you were the young man, would you go on with the assignment without confrontation, given the realistic probability the older gentleman has no idea of the truth? Or, would you risk it all and confront your father about the truth? If your father does confirm it, and if he truly -and please excuse the next choice of words- a change of heart, is there any chance you would accept some apologize, after all those years? If everything asked before is possible and you accepted his apologize, is there any chance the both of you could be a family together, with a tarnish reputation at that?”

The second year blinks slowly, and then pushes up his glasses. “I honestly thought you were going to ask me one question. Has this case been troubling you for **that **long?”

Goro couldn’t help but give a laugh. He certainly did pour out every question that has come to mind. “I guess so. It’s been almost three months since I got a hold of the case. I truly want to help the officer in question, but I haven’t been able to give him any ideas on what to do.”

“Well, don’t be too disappointed if I don’t give you my answer anytime soon.”

~~~

It was only after telling him and Futaba Sakura (why of all people did she had to learn as well?) about his past did Goro receives an answer.

It’s another round of chess, and once again, Goro won. However, he was a bit proud how his rival in crime was finally catching up to proficient chess skills. Their conversation happens just as the two begin to put the pieces away back into its box.

“I hope you don’t find me intruding into your personal life, but the case you told me a while back… Are you unable to help the young man because it hits too close to home?”

Goro paused mid-way between sitting and standing, his long hair perfectly blocking any view of his shock face. That familiar lump in his throat has return, but this time, there was nothing to swallow to make it disappear.

“You don’t have to answer if you-”

“No, I want to answer.” Goro slowly sits back down, and crosses his arms.

As the second year student sits down in the opposite direction, Goro finally swallows the annoying lump. “You’re correct that it does hit to close to home. Unlike the young man, my father left before I was born, so I have no idea what he could look like. There are many things I want to say to my own father, but without a face, I don’t know what to say in the first place.”

“…Then what would _you_ say if your father tracked you down and wanted to make amends, but only revealed himself to you after the two became close work colleagues?”

Goro steeples his hands together, making sure his mouth was not invisible. He never expected the tables to turn so directly onto his feelings. It’s difficult to answer a question where the reverse has happened, since Goro knows for certainly Shido would do none of the above.

Then again, it’s very easy to indulge the poor, neglected, orphan boy in a what could have been.

“Truth to be told, I’ll call my old man out for abandoning me and my mother in the first place. I’ll tell him all the pain and suffering I went through after my mother died. I’ll tell him that he’s a terrible father for only caring about me now when I’m almost an adult.”

As soon as the steeple fell down, he feels the heavy burden of a long filled grudge being lifted off his heart. Goro stares at his companion before him, and gives out a small smile. It wasn’t the one Goro shows off to the cameras and most people. It’s a smile Goro knows he hasn’t made since childhood.

“And then I’ll forgive him. I’ll tell him while he may be eighteen years too late, but the fact he track me down and not the other way tells me he truly wants to make things right.”

The other teenager gives out a small laugh. “Then I think the answer is pretty obvious, Akechi.”

* * *

One can say it was truly an awful, no good, terrible day. A day any man can put on his shittiest days list. A day where in most case, would result in someone punching glass.

As Goro watches from the afar, watching for the right moment —waiting for the man to be truly alone— the teenager couldn’t help but feel his stomach turning inside out. For weeks Goro had this confrontation simulated in his head, wondering what he would do and say.

The man looked so distressful and tired from here. It’s as if his whole world had come chasing down and will be destroy within minutes. When Goro finally decides to have the courage to show himself in person, no doubt his life would be change forever.

Yet despite being improbable, Goro manages to see the small glimpse of the man’s metal glasses. The way the man is sprawling on the floor, it’s as if he’s beckoning Death to take him away. And that pitiable face full of wrinkles…no doubt Goro knows what the man is thinking of.

And what the man is thinking of is something he doesn’t deserve no more.

With his grip on the gun tight, Goro can remember how much he hated Shido for his past. Goro can finally see why Shido is acting as such in the present. Looking at the beaten man, Goro can feel the renew energy of his goal that has been with him for so long. Goro can finally think about how in the future, on a certain day, it will be Goro’s grandest hour yet.

But today, it will the Black Mask’s time to shine.

***

(_Rigged for the cause. Rigged out of damn sp-_)

Shido knows he will never win any father of the year award. Not by a long shot.

So why, Shido of all people, was so disgust by Okumura’s behavior months ago? Okumura used daughter as a bargaining chip —a pawn, a puppet — for his own dreams of making it to political world. He offered up her hand in marriage without a second thought of her feelings.

It’s damn hypocritical of him for sure, given Shido’s own relationship with Akechi. For months it boggled him, but now Shido thinks he finally he knows why.

Shido will admit he knows very little of Okumura’s past, as well as his personal life. Shido only allows himself to learn as much as needed if it a means to an end to anyone involve in his little conspiracy. However, Shido knows enough that Haru Okumura considered the man Okumura is now to be a completely different person than the one she knew when growing up.

Why else would she accept working with the Phantom Thieves to change the man’s heart? It’s really childish of her to look through rose-tinted glasses, to keep such an idealistic profile of her father. Even parents who truly did no wrong —especially those who never ordered deaths and accidents for example — will have some jarring flaw a child cannot over look.

Yet those same rose-tinted glasses may be the reason why Miss Okumura is willing to take a risk on a change of heart. Despite all his flaws, Okumura was able to be the one thing Shido never was.

And probably never will be.

_(Rigged for the cause. Rigged out of damn spite.)_

***

The Black Mask honestly has seen his fair share of Shadows. Kunikazu Okumura however, is one he can call a real piece of work. Would a man really give up his own flesh and blood to someone else? To be used as a disposable doll? Would a man who Haru Okumura — one she thought to be a kind, loving father — knew for her entire damn life from infancy to now would recall memories to fake changing a change of heart in order to lower her guard? Would a father who lie and betrayal his daughter too many times be worthy of a second chance?

Shadow Self be damn, the thing sitting in front of him is still Okumura at the end of the day.

No doubt that with Okumura’s death, the Black Mask can feel he will take another step towards the grander scheme of things. If it were possible, he would have thanked Kunikazu Okumura as a reminder how terrible fathers can truly be to their children.

However Goro couldn’t. So instead, he chuckles.

***

_“I’m not surprised Okumura-san used his daughter in such a matter. It wouldn’t have work as well as he wanted if they weren’t blood related after all.”_

* * *

“Whatever happened with that troublesome case?”

“Hm?”

Goro looks up from the counter, watching Joker (Goro is utterly glad his guesses were proven right after all, and with evidence no less to blackmail them sometime soon) standing behind the counter, crossing his own arms in frustration.

Joker gives Goro a small blink of confusion. “…The case with the young man and his father?”

“Oh. Oh! That troublesome case.”

Truth to be told, Goro hasn’t thought about his silly little lie in quite a while. Not since getting his orders to frame Okumura’s death as an act done by the Phantom Thieves.

“It appears you gave me your answer to me a bit too late.” Goro uses the palm of his hand as a little ledge for his head to rest on. “By the time I finally went to him, he had already made up his mind. He decided to not take any risk, and is continuing on with his assignment.”

Joker gives another blink. “I see.”

“Don’t feel too guilty about it,” continues Goro. “In hindsight, I think it was impossible for any chance of them to reconcile.”

~~~

Goro wasn’t sure if joining the Phantom Thieves was supposed to be this easy, but hey, he’s within their ranks. That’s all that matters to him.

As he spends time with the eight teenagers and their strange cat (Morgana is a cat no matter what he says or does), Goro finds himself…enjoying their company. The way they act around one another is something he wasn’t expecting. Free to be who they are, with little judgment involve (saying there is no judgment would be a lie), surely being a Phantom Thieves breaks everyone out of what society wants them to be.

Every once in awhile, Goro contemplates that this is what he’s missing in his life.

Then he would remember that he thought something similar with Shido.

* * *

Shido remembered their last phone call. It was December, and everything was in its final days — the final stages. Shido remembered how everything needed to go according to plan. Despite having the factors set into his favor, the man wanted to be 100 percent certain of it.

As he and Akechi talk for the last time, Shido can remember how his voice ended up becoming a bit more shaper than usual. The tone became gruffer, and his words made it clear Akechi’s life was the line if he didn’t his job right.

For the last two and a half years, Shido will admit he thought of Akechi as his son. He never meant for it to happen, but it did. He had doomed himself, privately admitting this was because of the unplanned pat on the back. But as time went on, Shido will also privately admit there’s something fitting to it all. What he and Akechi are doing…one can say it was a real family business.

But during that phone call, and for the next few days, Akechi was someone Shido couldn’t care for. Akechi was just some damn boy needing recognition so badly; he would be willing to go to extremes to go it. Akechi was some annoying brat—but well train pawn and puppet — who Shido couldn’t give a damn about. Akechi was a random child with powers beyond compare that will give Shido everything he ever wanted.

And what Shido wanted didn’t include a son.

* * *

Ever since their conversation about Okumura, Goro’s once almost good opinion on his and Shido’s relationship took a serious nose dive. No way was it too good to be true, that Shido wanted to make amends. But to say Goro was 100 percent certain of it would be a lie. In reality, Goro really only believed it 99 percent of the time. That pathetic part of him that’s the poor, neglected, orphan boy had hope. Hope that Shido wanted to do right by him. A blind hope the two could be a family. Sure, they would be ruins, but they would be in ruins together.

To think after almost three years — three fucking years — Goro finally got his long awaited question answered. Goro wasn’t sure if the timing was perfect or not. No doubt his cognitive double was watching from afar all this time, waiting to make his oh so _wonderful_ entrance.

Hearing the bitter words out loud is just a slap in the face. A slap Goro should have seen coming.

Of course everything Shido did was just done to dangle Goro along. The man knew Goro was a sucker for wanting that recognition, that love and affection denied all so long ago. No, it wasn’t denied. It was _stolen_. It was taken and killed the second his mother made her decision all those years ago. And now its corpse was being used against Goro, and it was used oh so well.

But as Goro turns back his attention to his double; he felt a strange sense of calm washes over him. While this wasn’t the ending Goro wanted, it’s an ending Goro will bitterly accept.

* * *

As Shido calls the number again, the man can feel his rage reaching its boiling point.

Akechi didn’t bother to call him about any updates regarding the Phantom Thieves. Seeing them live streaming — with their leader surprisingly alive without a bullet hole through his head —wanted to make Shido punch his windows.

How could Akechi fail to kill their leader? How could the Phantom Thieves be able to make a calling card to steal his heart? How could they eve do so anyway? Akechi knows the Palace like the back of his hand-

***

Shido could only imagine about what everyone is saying about him. No doubt everyone will somehow criticize his decision on ignoring wise words regarding the pills to prevent a change of heart.

There’s no doubt they’re absolutely correct in that regard. While the Phantom Thieves won fair and square, Shido felt that if they succeeded, they would have completely taken _everything _away from him. Two and a half years of his life would have become nothing.

He can remember swallowing the pills without a second thought, with the pain in his chest continuing to grow. As he starts to lose consciousness, Shido’s final thoughts were hoping the outcome would miraculously be in his favor one last time, as it was in the past.

Resting on a hospital bed wasn’t the outcome Shido wanted. However, Shido can say it’s an outcome he will greatly accept.


End file.
